One of the nice things about a new relationship is when you realize that it’s not so new anymore. You have come to think of yourselves as a couple complete with couple habits and routines. At the same time you’ve started to let go of parts of your single life.

When your sweetie goes out of town for a few days, there’s a break in your routine. You have become used to having him around and suddenly, no one! It can be a bit unsettling because, well, you’re in love! This doesn’t make you dependent, it just means you’re a bit out of sorts.

Fear not, friends. This can actually be a serious glass-half-full situation. There are more good things than you think that come with being alone for a while mid-relationship. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

You get to be ugly

Okay, not ugly ugly (theres never any reason to not take care of yourself. That should not be dependent on a loves presence) but you can safely get away with not shaving your legs or worry about hanging around in your oh-so-comfy but totally unflattering sweatpants.

It can be such a refreshing break to have a bit of time when you dont have to worry about looking your hottest. And the relaxation factor associated with that will leave you looking even more ravishing when your honey returns.

You time

Time has flown since you met and you’ve spent most of it together, either at your place or his. Which means that your plants haven’t been watered, the dust bunnies are having a party under the bed, you’re laundry is multiplying on its own and the bills haven’t been paid. Being under the spell of a lover’s haze is wonderfully cozy, but now is the perfect time to catch up on all the other stuff you’ve left undone.

Discover the long distance relationship

Even a new relationship can benefit from having things changed up. You’re used to the normal romantic plans that come with dating in person. Now is your chance to find out what it’s like to have a long distance relationship.

Try a naughty phone call just before your sweetie goes to bed, or send some sexy photos (nothing x-rated!) to his email address. For a super surprise, send a love letter to his hotel. It’s very old fashioned and very romantic.

Hang out with friends

Bit of a no brainer really. Your friends are seeing far less of you, and they miss you. Let’s hope you haven’t cut them off all together because you may find yourself getting a less than friendly reception. Spending time with your bosom buddies while your other half is out of town is a great way to pass the time.

When we meet someone new and exciting we all have the delightful notion about how we’ll fall wildly in love with them and our brains will just synch up in perfect harmony. The second part of this fantasy is that this new person will magically fit into every aspect of our lives; they’ll be knowledgeable about our jobs to help us work out little professional stresses we bring home, our mothers will start inviting them to dinner with almost more enthusiasm than she invites us, and perhaps most importantly, our friends will love this new person and embrace them into the fold.

Like most things in life though, hoping something will happen doesn’t necessarily make it a reality. Life is messy and there are no guarantees that your new sweetie will be a hit with either your friends or your family. But that’s okay, we can handle it, right?

So why then, when we’re talking about this wonderful new person in our lives to our friends, do we always come out with “wait till you him him/her; you’re going to love him/her!”? We do it all the time! Saying it and it actually happening are two different things. Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment?

We’re eternally optimistic about that fact that our friends will feel the same way about the new person in our life as we do. It’s only natural to want all aspects of our life to be in harmony. Unfortunately, we have no control over our friends’ emotions. And if they do not like Mr. or Miss Wonderful, you are going to need some tips on how to deal with it.

1. Don’t press the issue

Though you may not like it that your friends and your lover really don’[t like each other (or maybe it’s just a one way street), there really is nothing you can do about it. In other words, there is nothing for you to fix. As long as the dislike is not serious, you will just have to accept it for what it is.

2. Assume respect

Understand though that these people don’t like each other’s company, so giving them undivided attention whenever possible is a good idea. Oil and water don’t like to be mixed, so you cannot expect these people to mix cheerfully either.

On the other hand, for occasions like your birthday, when you rightfully want all of your loved ones in the same room, it is perfectly reasonable to expect your buddies and your honey to put differences aside for your sake.

3. Stop and listen

Our friends’ dislike of our lover isn’t letting up, even after you’ve been dating him or her for months. Even if you think they don’t have a leg to stand on, take the time to listen. They are your friends, and presumably, they have your best interests at heart. Could be their just jealous that they are missing out on the time you used to spend together, but maybe they know something you don’t.

By all means let your friends be your objective eyes when it comes to a new relationship. You are emotionally invested, they are not. At the same time, its okay to stand your ground if they are just plain wrong.

Now, there’s nothing in the whole world that can replace sex for a true feeling of mind and body intimacy. But as wonderful as sex is, there’s something incomparably special about a kiss. With a kiss, you can communicate passion and emotion in a way you can with nothing else in your arsenal. For most people it’s one of the most important parts of a physical romantic relationship.

At least it is when your partner does it well. Since no one writes “great person, terrible kisser” on their internet dating profile, kissing ability is kind of a wait and see thing. Some of the best looking guys I’ve dated have been, to put it mildly, horrible kissers!

But just because somebody you date is a not-so-great kisser doesn’t mean you have to dump them there and then. Some people have simply never learned how to do it properly. Met somebody wonderful on an internet dating site and like everything about them but their lip-lock? Read of for tips on helping your partner improve his or her technique… without hurting anybody’s feelings.

What They’re Doing Wrong

Having someone’s tongue stuck down your throat is never sexy. Unfortunately it’s also the most common mistake that bad kissers make. Some people just think that French kissing means doing battle with someone else’s tongue and when it comes time to smooch they come armed and ready!

What To Do

If the person you’re kissing is somebody you’re not interested in going any further with, you may be doing them a favor by pointing out any problems with their technique. But if you like him or her, the best thing is to avoid mentioning it. Even if you try to talk about it gently, there’s really no way to avoid embarrassing the heck out of your date. Fortunately, it’s easy to help somebody improve their kissing technique by simply leading them– you don’t have to say a word.

In order to be able to teach somebody to kiss better, you’ve first go to get them interested in the kiss in the first place. Then, when it’s obvious they’re into it, pull away slightly and force them to slow down. Don’t let them feel rejected. Simply change the pace in order to break up the monotony of the kiss and to help you introduce new elements.

Get Luke to put away his light saber. If your kissing partner seems to really want to play tongue battle, you need to disengage. Change the focus to the lips and change the pace and style of the kiss.

Once the tongue truce has been established, it’s time to introduce your smooching other half to more kissing options. Try alternating between kissing the top and bottom lips. Sucking the bottom lip lightly is also a pleaser as is gently using your teeth. Hopefully your date will enjoy the new sensations and it will spark some creativity of their own.

When your partner is into the swing of trying these new techniques, fall back and let them take control. Given a bit of time, they should discover the pleasure that comes from these new techniques and confidence in their new kissing ability. All without knowing that you had a hand in it (so to speak).

If we lived in a perfect world, every relationship breakup would be harmonious, we’d all have lots of patience and love, and everyone would remain friends. We would be able to look back with fondness at the time we spent together, and our exes would get along with our new partner.

Yeah, things dont work like that, as most of us are painfully aware. What I do think is possible, a lot of the time, is being friends with your ex. As long as you arent talking about someone who is too impossibly immature to have a post-relationship relationship, and as long as the break-up was handled honestly and smoothly, Ive never seen why (after a small, necessary buffer time of limited contact) exes cant be friends. It does happen.

Whether thats the case or whether you dont care if you ever speak to them again, its always a good plan to handle your past carefully when it comes to being in a new relationship. After all, the most important part of making peace with your past is to prevent it from muddling your present or road blocking you on the path to a happy future.

Here are some tips to keep in mind as you wade through the complicated waters of relationships.

Dont compare

Our brains know that each relationship is unique, just as every person is unique. Logically, we know this. Even so, it’s a constant struggle for most of us to not compare our current partner to partners or situations of the past.

Chances are you will find similarities between your current partner and any previous lover you may have had. But making assumptions about the here and now based on past experiences is a bad idea. By all means be on the lookout for red flags; but focus on what each relationship is and could be rather than comparing it to the ones you had in the past. Comparisons inevitably lead to discontent and misinterpretation.

Know when to let it in

Though you don’t want to beat yourself up too much about the mistakes you may have made in previous relationships, it’s also important that you learn from your mistakes. So sometimes you have to let a bit of it creep back in if only to retain what you’ve learned without allowing any of the negative feelings in.

Be considerate

If youre friends with an ex and are incessantly chattering about the funny thing they said the other day or the French class the two of you have talked about taking, dont be surprised if this kind of stuff is met with unease and even suspicion by your current significant other. Granted, they should listen to and trust you but remember, they arent in your head.

Along with dating comes a whole list of questions. Questions like what to wear, where to go, who pays for what. There should be a rulebook; figuring it all out ourselves is exhausting work. And that’s before contemplating whether or not to sleep with someone.

You checked out each others internet dating profiles, thought they seemed interesting, exchanged emails and phone calls; all the preliminary sparks were there. Time for some face time. Thats where it gets fun. And confusing.

Now that you’ve met face to face it’s clear that he/she turns your knees weak. Now the question is “do I sleep with him/her?” And if you answered YES, next you’ll be asking yourself “when?”

Provided you don’t have any hard and fast rules or personal convictions about sleeping with someone right away (which I totally respect by the way) here’s an idea. The sooner the better. Read on for the why.

Reason #1

Sex is definitely at the top of the list of things that make up a relationship. To me, it’s super important, but that’s a story for another day. Although there are many other qualities that we look for in a mate, putting sex at the top of the list isn’t superficial, it’s realistic.

Dating someone is much like a job interview. You want to make sure you select the right candidate for the job. And for the job of lifetime partner, being on an even keel sexually speaking is a must. Think of sex early in a relationship as part of the interview process. After all, you don’t want to hire someone who’s not up to the job would you? I thought not.

Getting closer

Dating can best be described as a series of phases leading towards one common goal; greater intimacy between two people. At least it is if everything goes well. Unfortunately, our brain can work against us. We start to over think everything; what we should do, what we shouldn’t do, our insecurities based on past experience and other inhibitions.

Sex is a clever trick to use our bodies natural inclinations in our favor. We all want to have sex. Just follow the chemicals and go with it. Sex, once you decide to have it, isnt a cerebral act.

Though you may have heard it a thousand times before, I think it’s misguided advice that you should be comfortable and emotionally intimate with someone before sleeping with them. Why? Because it’s a hell of a lot easier to strip down the emotional barriers after someone has seen you naked, that’s why.

So okay, maybe there are preconceived traditions about waiting a certain amount of time into a new relationship before taking it to the fun and naughty places. I think you can throw them all away in the name of healthy love fact-findingyou now have two perfectly valid reasons why putting sex on the menu early is a great way to advance your knowledge of one another and get a fast feel for whether or not the two of you have future viability as a couple. And thats worth throwing old rules out the window for.

You probably know someone like this. They have a rising career, terrific friends, tons of hobbies; everything that makes life complete, with one exception. Then comes the frosting on the cake of life. They sign up for internet dating and meet “the one” complete with kisses, butterflies and complete chemistry.

A few months later, these two are a couple. A happy pair cocooned in wrappings of romantic bliss. Unfortunately, their friends aren’t receiving very little face time, their career is getting less attention, and hobbieswhat are they??

For most of us one of life’s goals is to meet someone special and establish a relationship that will not only make us happy but that enables us to keep a sense of independence. We want to share, not surrender; so how do we do that?

When we’re dating someone new, everything is wonderful, especially that “feeling”. You know the one; it’s amazing! You’re connected to someone. For most new couples, that “feeling” is best realized when they’re alone, without outside interference.

Dont get me wrong, this is one of the few perfect things that exists; the time of getting to know everything about each other, developing all your little habits and routines as the bourgeoning pair you areits amazing and I know its like nothing else exists for awhile.

As for the friends, family, career and hobbies, they’re still there. You just haven’t noticed them much being so focused on your new partner. But once the bloom is off the rose, and it will happen sooner or later, you’re going to realize that you’ve let the rest of your life slide into apathy.

Now, Im not saying this always happens. Sure, its supposedly possible to achieve great balance from the outset of a relationship and everything is the picture of moderation. I say supposedly because, admittedly, I am NOT one of those people.

Me, I’m actually one of those people who loves being crazy in love. I love it that I’m NOT balanced or logical when I’m wrapped up in someone new. Having said that, I never let it go too long without coming up for air, so to speak. And I know I’m reaching that point when I start feeling a bit out of sorts about the things I’ve let slip away from me.

So whats the answer? How do you allow yourself to surrender to the loveliness of being swept away by a new romance but still keep the ties to your single life strong?

That’s where we have to distinguish between chemistry and compatibility. One has nothing to do with the other. That doesn’t take away from that electricity between the two of you, but chemistry is just hormones. Compatibility on the other hand is how your two lives can live harmoniously.

Finding someone who makes give your butterflies is much easier than finding someone who share your zeal for Extreme Frisbee or skeet shooting. Now I’m not saying that you have to find your twin to have a successful love life; it’s all about compromise. However, the closer someone is to your current way of life, the easier it will be to bridge your coupledom and your single status.

Making a relationship work is never easy. And when you find someone who makes you weak in the knees, will join you in doing the things you love (and vice versa), and who actually likes spending time with your family and friends, all areas of your life will improve! Now that’s worth working on.

When constructing your profile on this, or any other, internet dating website, you try to put your best cyber-foot forward. You pull on all the charm, intelligence, and wit you have at your disposal in an attempt to make sure the first things that potential dates learn about you are the best possible things. Then why is it that so often people cant seem to take that same careful consideration and verbal editing when it comes to actual physical dating?

Let’s blame our hormones! The chemicals that make us giddy, nervous, and happy. Apparently they also turn our brains into mush and throw our common sense out the window. How else can we explain our incapacity for choosing appropriate dating conversation topics?

I don’t mean “appropriate” in the sense of right and wrong. There really isn’t any. You should just be your silly self, and take the situations as they come. You’ve probably had enough experience by now to know which “rules” work for you and which ones don’t. I’m not talking about appropriate in the sense of what is right and what is wrong. There is no right or wrong. Provided you are yourself and take things as they come, you have probably figured out what works for you and what doesn’t.

Having said that, appropriate first date conversations are ones that, like your internet dating profile, showcase you at your best. Unfortunately I’ve heard so many first date conversation horror stories I’m practically an expert. Trust me, verbal landmines are everywhere, and they’ll put a big black mark on what was an otherwise favorable first impression.

To that end, here are a few things that you should NOT bring up on a first date. I know they might be obvious to some, but the great majority needs a refresher. Read them, memorize them, and hopefully you’ll remember them when your next first date rolls around.

Your ex

This one goes at the top because not only is it the most common conversational mistake on first days but often its the most detrimental. Everyone knows that we all have romantic history and whats more, its not uncommon for many people to start dating again before theyre completely whole and healed from their last relationship. Thats not necessarily a bad thing; everyone has to decide for them when its time to get back in the game.

Since first dates are all about optimism and the hope that this one will be different, it’s never, ever a good idea to talk about your painful and troubled relationship with a past lover. Your train will derail before it even leaves the station. Relationships go wrong, but there’s no need to talk about it on a first date.

Your family

I think theres rarely anything wrong with giving a breezy overview of your family: where they live, how many siblings you have, etc. Getting into details about how your father is an alcoholic or that your sister and mom havent spoken in yearsthe dirty details are best saved for a later (much later) time. Dont lie but keep it positive. Theres no need to make a promising date shy away from you by making them afraid of your family. Like you need any more reason to be annoyed by them.

Getting Married and Having Children

In a word, don’t! Ever! Under no circumstances should you talk about your deadline for getting married, what kind of person you want to marry, and the fact that you have your wedding details all planned; all that’s missing is the partner.

Nor will you talk about how many and how soon you want to have babies. Theres plenty of time for that later. Im not proclaiming that everyone is repelled and terrified of these topics, even early in the relationshipbut why risk it?

There you have the big three. You may have noticed that I did not include either religion or politics. Both are subjects that a lot of dating experts advise you to stay clear of on a first date. I disagree. Emotionally healthy adults can have open and intelligent discussions about either. If they can’t then they’re too stuck in their ways and narrow minded, so you probably don’t want to date them again anyway. Best to find out now!

While joining an internet dating site will expose your profile to millions of people from all over the world, that exposure also carries some risk. Though most of us are honest and law abiding, there are those who create internet dating profiles that are nothing but lies. The exposure you gain is an asset in creating the widest possible search for that someone special; but it can also expose you to some of the less appealing aspects of internet dating.

If you’re already involved in internet dating then you are most likely aware of internet love scammers. Those scum of the earth dregs that play upon men’s’ and women’s’ vulnerabilities for financial gain. If you’ve just joined an internet dating site, keep reading; you owe it to yourself.

Scammers care nothing about you, your family or your life. They care only about themselves and the contents of your wallet and bank account. They will exploit you for every single cent you have without as much as a backward glance or ounce of guilt.

Internet romance scam victims are just like you. They come in all shapes, all sizes and all ages. No one is immune and you would be foolish to think it could never happen to you. Keep in mind that scamming is their job; it’s how they make their living. They’ve had plenty of practice, and they’re masters in lies and deception.

Watch out for “too good to be true” photos. Scammers don’t use photos of themselves. They steal photos from modeling sites, social networking sites and other public websites. Chances are the people in the photos don’t even know they’re being used for criminal activity.

How do scammers go about persuading people to send them money? Unfortunately, quite easily. They weave a web of convincing lies that run the range from undying declarations of love, pages of poetry copied and pasted from internet poetry sites, and emails full of calamities like disfiguring accidents, terminal illnesses and even death.

They will not let up until they get what they’re after; your money. The more, the better. When you’re in contact with a scammer you can expect instant messages and emails around the clock. Since they care only for the money, and not you, they’ll call you at all hours of the day and night should you give them your phone number.

If you suspect that you are in contact with a scammer, stop all contact right away. If you have to change your email address or phone number, do it. Do not contact them; they don’t care what you think about them. Bear in mind that every single thing they ever told you is not true. The only thing that was true is they wanted your money. Period.

Rather than asking yourself “Which free online dates site should I use?” or “Is free dating really free?”, you should dig a bit deeper.

The query you must be asking yourself is “Is free online singles worth it?”.

What do you mean worth it when it is free of charge? I mean your time, your energy and your feelings.

Free dates sites are fabulous to have a small amount of entertainment, but if you are sincere about dating free may not actually be your top option.

There is a good chance that the person you are talking to on a free dates site, is not who he/she appears to be. Somewhat less likely to occur on a paid dates site.

Why? Because the membership fee plays the role of a natural filter. It is so extremely painless to register with a free personals site and create a fake profile, mess about for a while and quit.

Alternatively, if you have to shell out for the use of a dating site, you are a great deal more likely to be honest about your self.

Subsequently there you have it. If you are after a bit of enjoyment, free is the manner to go, but if you are serious – go for a connection dates site.

It appears that on the face of it, dating services that are completely free may actually be worth using. Yet, you still have to have enough people using the service to make it likely that there will be possible dates of interest to you in your area. Companies with large advertising budgets are extremely likely to have more profiles for you to look at! That’s quite easy to see. You’ll maybe learn about paid dating services more swiftly than totally-free ones.

The lovely news is that most paid sites suggest a free tryout so you can have a little taste of what’s on offer before choosing if you desire to pay for membership or not.

Were we to live in a perfect world, the answer would be no. The reality is that the world we live in is far from perfect, and yes, appearances do matter! When it comes to dating, a pleasing appearance just might mean the difference between one date and an ongoing relationship.

Make friends with your mirror. Ask yourself this question; Would I give myself a second look? If not, it’s time to turn that No into a Yes.

If you last appointment with your hairdresser was more than six months ago, you’re overdue for a cut. While you’re there consider changing your style. A flattering new hairstyle is a terrific confidence booster.

Gentlemen, it’s time to get out your razor. There’s simply no excuse for scruffy and badly maintained beards and moustaches. Done right, they’re sexy; done wrong, they’re a total turnoff. While you’re at it, inspect your nails and trim and file as required.

Ladies, razors aren’t just for men. Visible underarm hair is not going to turn any guy’s crank. Though I know full well that shaving your legs is a chore, it’s a must. And while you’re at it, pay attention to your bikini line. You just never know!

The type of date you’re going on will determine what you’ll be wearing. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s clean and pressed. Looking good tells your date that you care about the impression you make on him or her.

Where perfumes and cologne are concerned keep in mind that a fragrance should never enter the room before you and it should leave with you. Simply put, keep it light. You might want to find out ahead of time if your date has a fragrance allergy.

You’re worth the effort to look good, so take the time and do it right. Self confidence comes from within, and it will come shining through on the outside in more ways than one if you know you look your best.